I thought nothing of All I need today is a little bit of Skillet and a whole lot of Jesus shirt it until I went into the laundry room to find her face down on the floor. When I picked her up, even before I turned her over, I knew something was wrong, her body was completely stiff. When I did turn her over, I realized she was dead. Rigor mortis had already set in and her face was frozen in the most painful expression of agony you could imagine. I called 911 even knowing she was already dead and long past saving. I really don’t want to go into detail about that night. Suffice it to say the cops suspected I’d done something or shed OD’d. For five hours detectives went through everything we owned. I have questioned repeatedly the same questions by multiple cops. All the while I was trying to console her mother with the realization her one and only daughter was dead. The next day I accompanied Shayna’s mother to Shayna’s neurologist.
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Shayna had epilepsy and All I need today is a little bit of Skillet and a whole lot of Jesus shirt her doctor suspected she might have died from SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death due to Epilepsy) which neither of us had ever heard of. Months later when the autopsy came back that was the cause of death.) The next few days were a blur of misery, tears, and disbelief. Devastated does not begin to express how I felt from that point for many, many months. I will not lie, there were many moments I thought of and even planned to take my own life. I knew Shayna would want me to live and after seeing how the loss of a child had affected her mother, I could not do that to my own mom. I managed to face the future only by focusing on my mother who was getting up in years at the time.