These types of struggles are Dear parents your expectations of teachers should match your commitment as a parent shirt. They are shared in age-appropriate ways and not as a means of venting, gossiping, or unloading on the child. They are shared with the emotional maturity of the child in mind. While one of my daughters has an insatiable thirst for information and yearns for the difficult details, the other one has nightmares from sensitive subjects, so I keep this in mind when I decide how and what to share with each of them. When I am directly in the midst of a struggle, having a hard time managing my emotions, and feel like I might lose control, I will tell my children this: I’m having trouble talking right now, and I can’t talk right now because I feel very frustrated.
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If I am able, I might even briefly tell them why: Dear parents your expectations of teachers should match your commitment as a parent shirt, and I feel stressed when I am running late, or I am feeling really upset because I just erased a fourth of the book I am writing. It is knowing someone so deeply that we know what will nourish their nervous system. Gentleness this is what heals. My daughter had begun spending her mornings in the backyard before school. One day I looked out and saw a little garden right there in the middle of the yard. I believe this is another benefit of sharing our struggles in a healthy, responsible way.