I’ve called it that many times before, Dear Santa I really did try to be a good CNA but this mouth Christmas shirt, sweater. But I could never last long; I always sabotaged myself. I’ve been sabotaging my body, withholding good things from it, because of shame. I see the connection now. Not too late for me or my children who are learning to thrive. I’ve never been an emotional eater, but last week I was out of control. As I stuffed my mouth while consuming current events in mass amounts, I connected some very painful dots. There I was, sitting on a kitchen stool in a beach rental last week, eating my lunch and watching breaking news. A feisty voice said.
Dear Santa I really did try to be a good CNA Christmas shirt, sweater, hoodie and longsleeve tee
Best Dear Santa I really did try to be a good CNA Christmas shirt, sweater
What he did to you was wrong. You did not deserve that, Dear Santa I really did try to be a good CNA but this mouth Christmas shirt, sweater with ivory beads. I’d awoken to bruises and missing beads that night, and I blamed myself. But as I sat there eating my feelings and then berated myself for it, I saw how it’s all connected to that awful night and the awful days that followed. Where shame hung on my body and around my waist where I forbid anyone to touch me. And when I told my mom on Saturday what happened when I was a sophomore, she offered compassion and understanding. Much to my dismay, my mom had her own story to tell.