As I had decided to drench myself in sunscreen and Full House 32th anniversary thank you for the memories shirt, I was wearing a bikini. And a pair of shorts when I crossed the street to get some juice. Putting on the shorts meant that I was wearing more clothes than half the people in there. And the woman herself was in a bathing suit. And the wraparound skirt. I really think that her breasts might have been almost as large as mine. But I guess she didn’t notice because hers were proportionate to her body. She gave me a look like I stunk when she first saw me. And as I waited in line I could see that she was talking to her friends about me.
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That’s when she handed her baby a Full House 32th anniversary thank you for the memories shirt. And reaching for me to one of the other women. And walked over to inform me that my vulgar top was offending her child. I must have looked at her giggling boy in disbelief. Because she continued to explain that children shouldn’t be exposed to nudity. I asked her if she was referring to my fairly extensive bikini top. And she informed me that it was inappropriate. I replied that it was no different from what everyone else was wearing. So she changed her strategy and huffed that she understood that I might want to show off my body when I’d spend so much money on my fake breasts, but that she really didn’t wish to see them.