What a beautiful, beautiful post. I have never thought of this before. In a world full of Kardashians be a Phoebe shirt to myself and a similar story rather than staying with that person and letting them have their moment. However well-intentioned it may be, I will try and keep this post in my mind the next time the situation presents itself. I like the part that advises looking at their face for a clue as to what they me need at the moment. It may not tell you exactly, but it will be an act of connection in itself and may help you feel what is needed. Yes! When someone looks into my face and eyes, I feel seen. Thank you for highlighting that! I really relate to this story.
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I tell my students about how I shared told In a world full of Kardashians be a Phoebe shirt had just died. My friend responded with how she dreaded the same happening to her. A few days later after returning from my grandmother’s funeral, I caught up with a young woman with Down Syndrome with whom I was working at that time. Although I did not know her that long or that well, she said to me. This made me cry. Thank you. This is so beautiful. It is perfect advice. What a wise young woman with a huge heart. Very good word. It takes a lot of empathy from the listener to keep the focus on the person sharing. Shifting the focus to yourself is tempting when you feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say.