My way of Mickey Mouse Bruno Mars signature shirt thinking that protects me from untrustworthy people is the exact thing that holds me back from forming lasting, stable relationships with people who are likely better for me in the long-run. I self-sabotage often because of this. And I can’t even recognize when I do. Only that it is something I do. And I dip into “unhealthy” dynamics because that’s what feels familiar that I unintentionally re-enact with everyone. Things can only end badly. Due to experience, the way I see things are the world is unsafe and full of people who will use me I’m inherently a shitty person who destroys everything good in my life. Going full circle to the first bullet when I do what I want, it feels good at the moment but the moment never lasts.
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But if I squeeze into Mickey Mouse Bruno Mars signature shirt societal expectations, I can blend, but I feel like I’m dying like I’m not breathing or living or being my authentic self and things may still end tits-up after all that effort. So why even try at that point? Adding one more thing. Probably my MAIN thing. I’m angry all the time. If I seem like I ‘snap’ out of nowhere, it’s never out of nowhere. I’ve likely just been trying to hold in a lot, and it all came unraveled when I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’m probably leaving a bunch of stuff out, but I’m writing this from my phone and my thumbs are tired lol, so I’ll sign off here.