I’ve found asking questions or repeating back to the Pentagram Cat every time a cat cleans itself it is worshipping the dark lord shirt how they feel is a better response when I don’t know what to say. We can cloth people who vulnerably share with words of affirmation. Talking about ourselves doesn’t do this. I think this is helpful. I tend to be a person who processes externally, meaning, I talk out the things I’m feeling in trying to understand. One of the dangers of this is choosing the wrong time to process my feelings out loud, which would rightly seem like turning attention back on myself. Most of my friends do know about the tragedies I have experienced, so I try not to go into a story unless a question is asked. But, when I encounter a grieving person, I try to think of what I wish others would’ve said, or think of that one perfect response I did receive, etc.
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I think it is a good reminder that a friend who processes internally will see someone who shares their Pentagram Cat every time a cat cleans itself it is worshipping the dark lord shirt it back on themselves, and as intrusive. Everyone grieves differently, and no one grieves perfectly. It is always a messy affair. We hurt each other when we tell others how to do it. This reminder to pay attention to the true needs of the griever is excellent. I will likely ponder this for a while. Sometimes people need time to gather their thoughts before reaching out to you. It’s not always easy to know what to do or say. Sometimes it’s better to say I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say. May I give you a hug. Accept that’s people’s sympathy comes in many forms, eg meals, flowers, cards, hugs etc, or even giving you space.