Later, I found out I can enjoy my freedom and Starbucks visions of coffee beans danced in my head shirt. It feels good to be free. And I am now learning how to be happy in my skin. I am sure I will make it there. You must not talk, but you must not be silent. You must not disagree, but when you agree, they change the plan. You must not show emotions, but you must not keep a neutral face. You cannot succeed but you must not fail, and average results are not accepted. You must pretend everything is fine when nothing is. You are not allowed to stop smiling no matter how broken you are. You must never call them out on anything. You have no right. The narcissist always knows better than everyone about everything and is the only one able to choose.
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You cannot trust your reasoning to the Starbucks visions of coffee beans danced in my head shirt, because they know better than you what is good. The narcissist will never agree with you on anything. When you agree with them, they change their opinion to keep disagreeing with you. You must not contradict them because they are always right and you are always wrong. You are the delusional one. Your memories are all twisted, your perception of reality is twisted, you do not actually feel what you think you feel, you are not sick when you feel and say you are, you need nothing of what you think you need, and they never abused you, you only imagined it all. They will always cover up their abuse and make sure no one believes you, including yourself.