Super Dad father’s day shirt

My daughter: get away from me.

Father: Then why are you in my bed? Because I like sleeping with you.

Me: Then stop hogging the covers and stay on yourside. Her: This is my side. Me: Uhuh, your idea of your side is the top side of he mattress.

My son: 2am, lands in bed like a grenade. Proceeds to “turn, twist, kick” like it was the movie Bloodsport. Oh, and snores like a F’ing freight train the whole time.

Warning: Attempting to remove either one will result in being more trouble that it is worth.